Cassandra

The days seem to fly but it even seems hard to say that when I know that each day is so precious. I want to be able to soak it all in. There is so much to our huge life that sometimes, we feel so small. Or maybe even insignificant.

There is something so significant about the special people in my life. There is one young woman who always seems to come to mind right now when I think of someone who is so treasured and so blessed by God's grace, strength, and mercy. I think that this young woman that I know, and that I love as if she was my sister, is a beautiful example of power. My darling Cassie is eighteen years old. She did what most eighteen year olds do. She graduated high school, she went to prom. She laughed, she cried, and she learned a lot a long the way. She did somethings though, that not every eighteen year old goes through. She got married, she had a baby. Life just seems to never slow down for Cas. She's been raising her little beautiful baby boy, but not without struggle. From my previous posts you know what Zayd has gone through, so you must know what Cassie is going through. She has a full time job and at a time was commuting between her job, three hours to the hospital. When she got her leave of absence from work,she has been able to just be at the hospital with our sweet and precious angel. She has spent the first few months of Zayd's life talking about his future heart surgeries (yes, plural), his breathing and feeding tubes, what to do if he was to turn blue, and how to support him with the proper nutrition, medicine, and care. She doesn't get to take him any where she wants, she doesn't get to play with him any way that she wants. But still, through all of that, she is an amazing mother. Can you imagine doing this, ever, in your span of parenting? How exhausting and overwhelming! But Cassie does it. And she's eighteen. And not only does she "do it", but she is a Mom with exceptional spirit. With positivity, with love, and with strength. She asks the tough questions, she stands up for what she needs to, she understands that her family, this unit that she has created, is what deserves her compassion. They deserve it.

I can't even fathom anyone saying Cassie isn't strong, or that she hasn't grown up (sometimes she seems older than me!) and that she isn't a great Mom. It is without doubt that if you look closer at the real person Cassie is... you will see greatness. She is just absolutely a vision of beauty, and someone to be so proud of.

I am so incredibly blessed to know her. And to do life with her, and to be and Auntie to the most beautiful boy I've known thus far. My life has been forever changed by Cas because she has taught me to be strong, to be someone's hero, and to love with wild abandon. She has taught me to be tough and keep your chin up, and to never, ever doubt yourself.

Cassie, I love you so much. I always will. You move me with your faith and your love for those around you. Thank you for being who you are, and being so true.

Waiting on clearance

Hi readers!

So today was the day, the big surgery day (see previous blog if you are at all confused). However, a few nights ago we found out that surgery will be postponed until next week due to fluid in Zayd's lungs. I know we are all anxious for him to get well, so this news was a little disheartening, for me anyway. I know Cassie is really anxious to see her baby healthy, so the consistency in prayer would be great.

The surgery, if he is healthy enough, will be November 5th. The Parsons are waiting on him getting a feeding tube now because he has not been able to eat much over the last couple of days.

I want to thank all of you who were praying for Zayd and for the rest of us family, including me. I had a lot to accomplish today and in preparation for spending the day at UC Davis (which will now be sometime next week), but I made it through with grace and a calm spirit, especially yesterday. Thank you so much! He has been there two weeks now, and I know that we're all just wanting him to be healthy. Please pray for the doctors to have wisdom and an open door to what is going on... there are so many questions we continue to have, day by day.

I am thoroughly enjoying the weather change here in Chico. The air is cooler, I can even see my breath in the morning! Reality is really setting in that fall is upon us. There is so much I love about fall, especially here. It is really beautiful here, I think probably because it doesn't rain as much as home ;)
But the air is cooler, and the sun is shining. I like all the local coffee places where I can snuggle up and read or do homework. The best part is running into people I know, all the time. How cool is our community?

This is hard

As you can see, I have not kept up on my blog... there seems like an overwhelming amount to catch up on. I'm going to have to take baby steps, a little here a little there. I have had a busy summer. Seems like just a busy life, period. Here's something though that I never expected. And something that I know God will move me through. Here's something, that is hard. I think this hard place is a good place to restart my blog, because never in my life have I wanted to share a story as bad as this one. This is one that I want everyone to hear so that for one second they can experience this... this toughness, and fear. This is the type of fear that drives a faith so deep and so strong, I can't even explain it. I want people to experience this insane amount of love for someone else. This is something that I know deserves this.

Anyone who has met him has fallen in love with him. Zayd Craig Parsons is now eleven weeks old and he is... so strong. He is my nephew, and one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen, I have ever known. I may be bias, but oh if you could just hold him. If you could watch him look at you, if you could hear him breathe. He looks so perfect when he sleeps, and he is loved, SO loved by everyone that knows him. Even those that don't. I am so blessed to have been an aunt that can love, hug, kiss, and hold him. He deserves that.

Zayd is fighting really hard right now, more than any 11 week old should. Please don't read this story about Zayd and think it is just another devastating story about a small boy who is sick. This isn't about pity, or to be sad. This is about what Zayd deserves and he always deserves our best, at least I think so. Our little peanut is so much more than any story. So, so, so much more. He fights his odds everyday and proves to us that he is so strong, but he has a lot coming for him this week that he should never have to face. On Tuesday, Zayd is having an open heart, reconstructive surgery. For those that don't know his story, you may gasp at this. What if I tell you this is his second heart surgery, in eleven weeks? What would you say then? I can hardly believe how much he is gone through, and really, we knew he would have another surgery. It is not supposed to be now. The doctors say that they want him to be bigger, but the surgery has to be now. It has to be Tuesday.



Zayd has so much to fight for. His parents love him, so much. His family loves him so much. But he also needs us so badly. Any readers out there, I am asking something that I know you hear a lot. But please, just keep on reading for one minute. I am asking you to pray. I am asking for prayer for favor during his four to six hour surgery, I am asking you to pray for knowledge and strength in the doctor's. I am asking you to pray for his family, his parents, all of us that will be waiting in the waiting room to hear that he is going to recover healthily. I asking you, please, to pray for him to be well. If you don't pray, if you've never prayed... could you start today? There's a song that I am thinking of right now and part of the lyrics say, "If you've got to start somewhere, why not here? If you've got to start sometime why not now?" I had chills when I heard that song today because I thought, this is exactly what I need to ask... I just need to ask for this one thing for him, this one prayer.

The plan is already set and we don't even know what it will be. I have no idea what Tuesday will bring us. But whatever it is, whatever the outcome, we will be be so impacted and blessed by prayer.

If I didn't love him so much, this may not be as hard. But I do, and it is. Waiting for Tuesday is excruciating, but all I can do is have faith in the goodness and pray for all the rest.

For those of you who took the time to sit down and read this, thank you. I couldn't actually thank you enough. I may seem distant the next couple days, but now you will know where my head is at...and where my heart is at, too :)